Hazletdown
This past Saturday Keith Hartel and I drove down to Bulletproof Music Studios (above) in Hazlet to see The Nihilistics* circa 2023 and Fear Gods. I’m not sure what we were expecting but the phrase “Oh, how the mighty have fallen.” comes to mind. First, the venue’s in a strip mall behind a Noches De Columbia (I had no idea there were any branches of that restaurant chain outside Hudson County) and next to a Sushi joint. Second, we walk in and are bombarded with the “Less is not more” approach to decorating. Every square inch of wall space is covered by “memorabilia”: framed “platinum” Beatles records, framed Beatles pictures, framed Beatles posters… interspersed with pictures and posters of the Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, Steely Dan, The Who, etc. Lots and lots of 1960s and ‘70s bands – what’s now known as “Classic Rock” – and I can’t tell if it’s here as “inspiration” or to send the subtle message “You’ll never measure up, pal.” There’s also a vintage jukebox, telephone booth and many, many guitars hanging on either side of two long hallways. The decorator was obviously unable or unwilling to edit themselves. In fairness, if you saw my basement – what was once described by a friend as a “Museum quality reproduction of your Hoboken apartment” – you might accuse me, too, of throwing everything at the wall to see what sticks. But my aesthetic and approach is nothing like “I paid for it, I’m using it!”
Keith and I immediately bump into members of Fear Gods, including Jack Steeples and Paul Richard, who are pleased to see us. I give Jack, then Paul, a big, full body hug with multiple back pats. We make small talk and I ask the question of the evening.
“Are the Nihilistics here yet?”
No. Haven’t seen them.
Paul’s smile never leaves his face, as if to say They’re either here or not. We’re playing anyway.
Just then I see them all out in the parking lot. Ron. Troy. Ajax. And the bass player, whomever he might be. They enter and Ajax (with me, below) is first to spot me, greeting me warmly.
CHRIS!
We hug. Then Ron says Hello! and we also hug. I extend my hand to Troy and he just glares at me. Beyond awkward. Keith and I run out for beer, which takes awhile. When we get back the band that’s on is painfully inept. Things pick up when Fear Gods take the stage. The twin Les Paul Custom attack of Jack and Paul is top-notch downstroke heaven. When the Nihilistics (below) begin there’s two dozen people standing around and the overall vibe is hashtag sad.
Troy especially doesn’t seem into it. Ajax does his Captain Sensible thing and the new bass player has his dreads tied atop his head. Ron’s in his punk rock cosplay gear, including his omnipresent Schott Perfecto leather jacket with his name on the back. They launch into Working Class but don’t make it far before Ron stops everyone and makes them start over. The same happens with Welfare For The Rich. They can’t seem to get it together. Between songs Ron does his usual shock-jock schtick, talking about blowjobs from transsexuals or how the bass player’s just out of prison for killing his girlfriend. When he reintroduces Welfare For The Rich he says This song mentions Reagan but you can replace his name with Biden. This is what passes for political commentary. After what seems like thirty minutes but might be twenty, Ron says This is our last song. We want to go home. It’s over almost before it begins.
Keith and I discuss it all on the way home (you can hear the entire night out here) and agree it was all very underwhelming. Maybe it was the venue. Or the fact they all drove so far to get to Hazlet. Or the tiny turnout. Who knows how much they got paid, too? When I get back to Weehawken and tell my wife all about it I communicate a singular point:
“I’m not sure why they’re still at it.”
*Note how sometimes it’s “The Nihilistics” and other times just “Nihilistics” – foolish consistency being the hobgoblin of small minds?
TONIGHT on Aerial View (6 PM EDT on thehoundnyc.com): Introducing NIHILISTIC. Don’t miss a very special crossover episode as Chris T. mashes up his talk show with his new Newsletter & Podcast documenting the process behind writing his upcoming book NIHILISTIC: How a hardcore band saved my life… then nearly killed me. “A memoir with guitar,” NIHILISTIC is a coming-of-age cautionary tale following two forlorn, friendless, dead-end suburban “Lawn Guyland” fat kids who form a band and end up on the legendary stages of the NYHC (New York Hardcore) scene. We see how each interpret the lessons of their particular moment and the way success in their milieu warps their friendship until one tries to murder the other.
This special Aerial View contains the first installment of NIHILISTIC Pod, recorded July 4th on my stoop as people streamed up the block in an attempt to see Macy’s fireworks. It includes an update on the progress of the NIHILISTIC book and – bonus – a recording of an old phone call with Mike from the Nihilistics, who denies threatening my life. Then I’m at the Meadowlands Flea talking about Saturday’s Nihilistics show in Hazlet, NJ. Listen for the second episode of NIHILISTIC Pod documenting the trip Keith Hartel and I took to Bulletproof Music Studios to see The Nihilistics on a bill with Fear Gods. What a strange damn night (I write all about it for today’s installment of the NIHILISTIC Newsletter).
Please subscribe to the NIHILISTIC Newsletter & Pod at nihilisticbook.com and spread the word to anyone else you think might be interested.